fb, blgs, & dAting
I’m being Arabic and not adding any vowels unless they are long.
Facebook, Blogs, and Dating
First a tribute to my ubber cool married friends. You all taught me that the happiest of marriages begin simply and naturally and can survive a few bumps. Here’s to you. Rachael, I tell your story all the time.
And for those of you who dated before facebook and blogs, we live in a new world now. The playing field is quite changed with new ways to make the old problems problematic.
First–you’re lost without facebook. You gotta add the guy or he adds you first. It’s great ’cause you can get all the generic 1st date questions out of the way looking at their profile. Tons of guys tell me they really like fb because they can lurk getting a sense for who you are before they make a move. This works for a while, then…
Problem: For me at least, if I really like the guy and he seems to respond, I immediately find an excuse to take him off my fb. Why? It’s too easy to stalk. It’s easy to misread. The girl who made a comment could be his cousin, for example. He also needs to get his game on and make it happen in person. If he doesn’t, he’s not interested and you might as well be off his account anyway and get over it.
Problem2: Most of the time it’s impossible to take him off your fb without causing social awkwardness so I leave him on anyway, but with some trepidation.
Second–a blog makes me happy. I like writing and love to see what other people would write, and I can do it all on my own time. Another beautiful thing is learning cool stuff about the person you didn’t know to ask.
Dating in 2009–One of the biggest challenges for me in this new world of internet dating is all the new ways to misunderstand. When a guy flirts with me on fb over 400 people could be party to this including students, co-workers, and family. In other words too many potential people putting undo pressure on a delicate situation. I don’t think people are watching but all too soon I get that question, “Who was that guy?…”
So what have I learned? 1-Keep all serious tangoes undercover. A friend, Katelin, didn’t post her boyfriend until they were engaged. I thought that was very classy. 2-Life can’t exist solely online. 3-There is no body language, or intonation. People can’t expect me to get what they’re really trying to say when they aren’t really saying it.
